Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This is Purely Hypothetical, of Course.

Why, if your marriage is already weathering the stresses and strains of constant travel, would someone choose to invite an old flame out to dinner while in this old flame's current city? Away from his loyal spouse? Huh? Hypothetically, why would someone do that?

You know, especially since the wife was warned about this former high school relationship at a wedding by one of the husband's former high school colleagues. Hypothetically.

Why would informing the wife of this "dinner date" make everything ok? Because it would hypothetically put the onus on her of appearing "distrusting" and shrewish if she had a problem with it. So, she just smiles and says "I love you, have a nice trip," as you walk out the door AGAIN for another week of leaving her alone to deal with the mundane day to day details of running a home and raising children. Hey, hypothetically, some people might call that adding insult to injury.

So, hypothetically, this spouse might be pretty fucking pissed off and miserable and full of self-doubts and feeling like an idiot for ever giving up a career and stretching out her body having children and giving up the best years of her life because she stupidly trusted you. Hypothetically.

Because, hypothetically, this high school flame is some unattached Hollywood producer with long blond hair and a non-stretched out body.

So maybe hypothetically the hypothetical wife is just beside herself with rage and pain and can't really talk to anyone about it. And maybe, hypothetically, she hates you for making her feel this way. And maybe, hypothetically, it's going to take a lot to make her trust you.

So I hope that scratching that little itch, whatever that itch was, was worth it.

Hypothetically.

11 Comments:

Blogger dizzy von damn! said...

hypothetically, i would say there is very little to worry about.

in my hypothetical experience with this particular hypothetical husband, he really loves his hypothetical wife and speaks of her highly to his hypothetical friends when visiting.

i understand the feelings, but the wife shouldn't worry. her husband doesn't love the traveling either. perhaps the wife could say something like, "you know i love and trust you, but i do feel sort of hurt by this. of course that doesn't mean don't do it- it just means pay a little extra attention to your hypothetical wife too. she could use the reinforcement, the knowledge that you appreciate her daily efforts, and a little nookie wouldn't hurt either."

<3

12:30 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

I think nookie could help quite a bit. Maybe even some canoodling.

Also, that jerk at the hypothetical wedding shouldn't have been spreading unnecessarily hurtful rumors.

Maybe the wife should hunt him down and kick the hypothetical teeth out of his lying mouth for causing trouble.

1:27 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

And of course, one of the hypothetical wife's friends could chaperone the hypothetical meeting, seeing as how she lives in the hypothetical city in question.

Wearing all her feathers and sequins.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Utah Savage said...

Hypothetically speaking I loved a man who traveled when it suited him hypothetically and sometimes he would call me from a small jazz club and I would hear hypothetical female laughter that sounded familiar, and I would ask, "Is that hypothetically speaking your last girlfriend" and he would say, hypothetically, "Yes, I just ran into her." Hypothetically speaking "are you screwing her?" And he would say, "Hypothetically speaking why do you ask?"

9:40 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Oh, Utah Savage, that's just not a good feeling.

I happen to think you deserve undying loyalty.

9:43 PM  
Blogger okjimm said...

hypothetically.... I would have a beer... in reality... I would tell him to forget about the dinner date. He can get some Burger King and take it back to the hotel and watch porn.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Utah Savage said...

Okjimm, you're a stand-up lush, I mean guy. Stand-up guy. You know if I learned that strike-through trick of Randal's that wouldn't look so prejudicial.

Given my hypothetical experiences with men, I'd kick his hypothetical ass to the curb and hypothetically I'd step over him on my way to a hypothetical party.

I think you should turn this into a writing assignment like the "She was suddenly gripped with the desire to ... I did it, you know. Have you read my little exercise. I even exposed some hypothetical skin in the process. I thought it was a terrifically useful exercise. Got more?

4:26 PM  
Blogger Übermilf said...

Utah, you're confusing me now. Although OK JIMM makes the most sense, I think.

I will do a FFF every week if you want.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Adlibby said...

hypothetically... I would hit him over the head with a frying pan SO HARD!

8:13 PM  
Blogger Blue Gal said...

I need your unhypothetical email addy ubermilf on a completely unrelated topic. Blog meetup in Chicago...

Bluegalsblog AT gmail.

2:11 PM  
Blogger Romius T. said...

I don't know how you women do it. Put up with us men. We don't realize anything about life until we reach 50 and our dicks no longer work, but that is because when it works the dick is a magical creature. It talks us into any number of things and men with dicks are not really human but then again women dont fall for humans, they need big game hunters to sway them and move them, mealy moused men fill a male emotional need but cant satisfy much else. Dont blame the penis. The penis and I hardly ever talk. The penis has his own agenda. I cant trust he penis either. But that is not to say that the real man underneath the penis does not value you, he is just hostage to young hot pussy.

oh i think you have inspired me to post something...

11:47 PM  

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